A Drug Deal

So I just witnessed my first drug deal. You might think it's funny to have lived in Baltimore for nearly 7 years and have never seen a complete drug transaction, but that was me until tonight. It's like living in Hawaii but never seeing the beach...you're surrounded by it, how could you miss it?

You might ask why I'm still awake at nearly 3 AM. Well, I had a few drinks and was reminded of a website I had stumbled upon earlier - tuckermax.com. Being that I'm drunk and the guy has some interesting stories (which I'm willing to believe are at least 50% true, the world is a terrible place), I kept reading stories. They're like car crashes, you can't look away (especially if you're drunk).

Anyway, I was about to get some sleep when I heard some voices out my window (it's hot, I'm cheap, no air conditioning yet). Peering through my blinds I see three men across the street. A skinny white guy, a kind of balding white guy and a black guy with kind of an afro. Every time a car would pass (like every 15 seconds for a bit), they would stop talking and pretend to be doing anything but transacting business (seriously, like inspecting the gutter or admiring a tree). Eventually they transacted their bullshit and all parted ways. It seemed like the drugs must have been hidden under the parked car across the street (as the black guy disappeared behind the car for a few seconds after giving the skinny white guy something).

The thing that brings this all home is that my car is parked across the street too. For all I know those fuckers are hiding drugs under my fender as well.

I love this city a lot of times. I've had some really great times here, I've got some good friends, and it's a nice, relaxed kind of place compared to like DC or NYC. But I can't stand the crime.

Does it make me a horrible person to really hate the corner boys? I mean, not just in the "I wish that they weren't around my neighborhood" kind of way but in the "I would personally be pleased if harm were to befall them." I know that it's wrong to feel that way, but they're actively working to make the world a worse place. I suppose it's some sort of primeval instinct for a man to protect his home, because as I watched that drug deal, I just wanted to beat the shit out of all the participants. All the times I've been worried about walking alone at night, all the times I've had to walk my female friends home or to their cars, for every time I've had a friend get their car broken into, I could finally see an undeniably deserving target for my anger. If only I could take a baseball bat to those assholes for what they do to the neighborhood.

But I won't. Because I don't own a baseball bat or because there are three of them and one of me. Or really because I abide by laws. Because I want to believe that I'm different from them and the only way to do that is to not sink to their level of senseless violence.

Fuck them, they're all assholes, I'm going to sleep.