Carbonated Soft Drinks

"Coke Rewards" is one of those customer loyalty programs that Coca-Cola runs to try to get people to drink more soda. Basically, if you drink a 20 oz. soda or by a 12-pack of Coke or Diet Coke they give you a code to enter into their website to earn points. Eventually you can redeem points for merchandise (I estimate that if I did this for the next 20 years, I could get an X-Box).

Anyway, recently I was asked to take a survey for them. I think it rates at least a 6 out of 10 on the unitentional comedy scale. Here are some questions (please rate from 1 to 5 with 1 = "strongly disagree" and 5 = "strongly agree"):

"Within the last six months I have spoken to a lot of people about carbonated soft drinks"
- Ok, seems like a reasonable question. I haven't, but maybe some people who drink more soda have had such conversations.

"I often speak about carbonated soft drinks with my friends or family."
- That could be considered distinct from the first question, if you are a person who has deep, involved conversations about soda with strangers on the street.

"When I speak about carbonated soft drinks with my friends and family I usually give them a lot of information."
- Huh? Like calorie content? The price of a twelve pack at the local Shopper's? (Answer: $3.50)

"My friends and family would probably consider me a good source of advice for carbonated soft drinks."
- Come on, has this ever really happened to someone? Have you ever had a conversation start out, "Well, son, I think you're old enough now that you've probably started to notice soft drinks, would you like some advice?"

"During a conversation about carbonatd soft drinks, it is very probable that I would convince my friends and family about my ideas."
- You know what Jim? You're right, I had never really thought about the difference between Coke Zero and Diet Coke before, your theories on the overall carbonated soft drink experience have really opened my eyes. I don't know what I'd do without a brother-in-law who was so knowledgeable about carbonated soft drinks.